"I am the vine, you are the branches.  Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit...." John 15:5
1.  If you say you are bored, you get to sweep.  Or vacuum.  Or both.  Every time you complain about it, another chore is added on.

2.  If you punch your brother in the nuts while he is washing dishes and you are drying, you get to wash and dry ALL dishes for the next 24 hours.  By yourself.  Exchange "punch" and "washing dishes" for any similar violent act or chore.

3.  If you drop it, pick it up. 

4.  If someone needs help, help them. 

5.  If a group of kids is fighting, ALL are assumed guilty.  Not fair?  Too bad, life isn't fair.  If the fighting doesn't stop, assign chores.  They must be bored---refer to rule #1.

6.  If someone tattles, acknowledge their feelings (it feels bad when someone hits you/steals your toy/calls you names) and offer a hug.  Do not take sides.  Send the tattler on their merry little way to play again.  If tattling continues, assign everyone chores.  They must be bored---see rule #1 again.

7.  Mom cannot nag.  Don't want a coat?  Guess you'll wear it next time if you get cold.  Don't want to brush your hair?  Guess you will next time if you get embarrassed. 

8.  Every person in the family must laugh.  Life is fun!  If it takes Mommy and Daddy bustin' out the 80's dance moves in the kitchen, so be it.  The Roger Rabbit is ready for a comeback anyway.

9.  Affection is not optional.  If Mom kisses you and you wipe it off, expect to be tackled and kissed.  If you gag and throw up in your mouth when Daddy kisses Mommy, be prepared to witness our kisses a thousand times over.

10.  If the babies let Mom and Dad sleep in, leave us alone.  We don't care if you eat chips for breakfast or play Minecraft all morning.  We haven't slept well for 15 years, so for all that's good in the world, just let us sleep unless someone is bleeding---nosebleeds don't count.

11.  Lastly, but most importantly, Mommy or Daddy (preferably both) will always say bedtime prayers with you.  We will ask Mother Mary to pray for us, Jesus to give us happy dreams, and our guardian angels to keep us safe forever.

1/16/2014 04:09:49 am

You can do one mean Roger Rabbit, hope they appreciate your skills. By the way, my kids are bored a lot, too. :)

1/19/2014 01:25:23 pm

I almost challenge my kids to try to wipe my kisses just so I can tackle them. And I'd love to see you bring back the Roger Rabbit. Pickup this week? Please?

1/19/2014 08:20:24 pm

Rachel, only if you and Sara join me. :)


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    Jaime, household engineer to 9 kids, an amazing husband, 2 fish, and a rainbow shark!


    January 2014